lists

i have been in total denial about bean's birthday party tomorrow. lu asked if i had everything ready, and i laughed. i swear i cannot get my mind around the things i have to do. i have in my possession at least 5 lists that for the most part are duplicates of each other. i keep telling myself that i have so much to do and then i write it down. then i think to myself, "what do i need to do?" today i compiled the lists and there really isn't very much there, but i still feel so unprepared. i'm not ready for beans to have his first birthday yet. i need him to be a baby for maybe 5 more years. he's such a good and happy baby. i'm not ready for him to become a bossy little frankenstein (or toddler as the case may be).

we have been practicing blowing out the candles. he has become very insistent on trying to feed himself so my prediction is he will dive into his cake with wild abandon.