for the love of the internet

shannan speaks to my heart.  for all of the ways a person could get lost in the world wide web.  for all of the bigness blogging has become.  for all of the ways a person could feel small on the internet.  she helps me feel connected.  she helps me feel heard.  she brings tears to my eyes and joy in my heart.  she is a champion, an inspirer, and a light in dark places.  thank you, always, for your faithful encouragement and beautiful words.  {flower patch farmgirl}

she also has the most amazing community of encouraging blogging friends.  not only is she a personal cheerleader to the little guy {me}, but she also links to a world of outside encouragement delivered straight to your laptop.  i was reading this article "during my lunch hour" at work, and it was much needed inspiration.  so glad i read about her.  write on writer.  {jen hatmaker}

when shannan says kind things about you, or just links to your blog, a whole new world of readers land at your doorstep.  a new friend has me thinking about all of the things.  her words are so relevant to my heart right now.  i love her idea of neighbors feeding neighbors.  {lori harris}

totally unrelated, but monumental nonetheless, this was the best advice i've read since, well, ever.  we all struggle with parenting the littles at times.  "come at me bro" parenting is my new favorite.  {rage against the mini-van}

have a happy weekend.  xoxo

unlocked

my mind is still percolating over the crooked path.  i like to run right past sad.  i prefer to characterize myself as happy.  like, all the time.  i will tell you i'm fine.  that i have all the things handled.  and i will not ask for your help.  can you literally feel the collective eye roll from my people?  and did the sigh out of their ever loving mouths blow past you like a cool nor'easter?  i'm unlearning all the years of thinking that doing more, and being more is the answer to happiness.  fake it til you make it is my archenemy.  i am currently not full up of others - i'm letting them handle their own things.  and i am building my confidence up for real life.  i am not rushed.  not numbed.  just holed up and still in all the discomfort of new ways.  i'm doing my best to be quiet when all these millions of thoughts and feelings are demanding attention.

bucket friend update:  i do over-think all the things.  but in these days of driving by and wondering about the toothy guy on the corner, my hope is that he feels cared for.  and i think he does, you guys.  because i see people reaching out to him.  and, yesterday, he had two oranges an apple and six cans of soup.  so i know i'm not the only one who sees him.  i hand him bread to satisfy my own perception of his need and in return i get to hear his voice. someday i might know his name.  his real need.  someday i might hold a bit of his story.  for now we have gotten to the weather.  and that is leaps and bounds beyond the day we finally made eye contact.  this is my very favorite kind of thing.

pin worthy

i woke up this morning simply luxuriating before hockey practice.  sundays mean i get to sleep in until 7am.  i stole an extra few minutes and read anne lamott.  wrote a bit.  and sent texts to the only other girl in the world who would be awake on a sunday morning.  we were planning the next meeting of the downton abbey fan club.  and i sent a text that said hot tea... (something we could look forward to during tonight's episode) and it immediately conjured up an image of violet looking down her nose at me.  and then, you guys, i found this picture on the world wide web.  and i made a meme.  i google searched the meme font and added the words, per instructions.  and then i proceeded to crack myself up all day.  do not be surprised if it goes viral.  i am hilarious.  i slay me.  proceed to pin.

jenerbug

in the (blog) beginning there was jennie.  more affectionately referred to as jennie from the blog.  this is my all time favorite of her posts.  she is a kindred spirit.  that sweet little voice on facebook that "likes" everything about me.  and the girl who sends us magic dust from the north pole and unexpected gifts from the south. 

she sent some amazing shirts for me and my boys.  sweet pea's shirt says kindergarten rocks.  and really, for him, it totally does.  his kindie teacher LOVED it.  and because she is magic, the tshirt has all that much more power over him.  they have worn them EVERY DAY, jennie.  to school.  to play.  to sleep.  ew.  i have actually washed them 3 times in the last week (you've all seen how beansy eats).  thank you so much sweet girl for all the kindness you've shown me over the years.  you rock, sister.  xoxo

favorite things

while discussing vaccinations, my doctor mentioned this wonderful story by chilean author isabel allende.  it's historical fiction about haiti.  i'm not done yet.  but the other day when i left beansy inside eating his lunch in front of the tv and i sat outside in the sun reading my book (hee hee hee....), this line stopped me in my tracks.  i laughed out loud.  i know if we had subsequent children in our family, this might be the line from my story as well.

"His wife, Leanne...had given birth to six male children and was expecting the seventh.  She knew it would be male because God was determined to test her patience."

um, yes.

has anyone seen this cute owl calendar around this week?  it's downloadable.  and free.  and did i mention the artwork is adorable?

click on the button to create and print your own.

ode

everyone.  grab your coffee and join me for a poetry reading.  remember, i started my college experience in portland, or.  there's nothing better than sitting in a coffee shop after powell's to watch the rain and think of nature.  or poetry about nature.  ok..that lasted for 6 months.  and then we were on to other things.  but for old time's sake, shall we?

OCTOBER

Robert Frost

O HUSHED October morning mild,
Thy leaves have ripened to the fall;

To-morrow’s wind, if it be wild,

Should waste them all.

The crows above the forest call; 

To-morrow they may form and go.

O hushed October morning mild,

Begin the hours of this day slow,

Make the day seem to us less brief.

Hearts not averse to being beguiled, 

Beguile us in the way you know;

Release one leaf at break of day;

At noon release another leaf;

One from our trees, one far away;

Retard the sun with gentle mist; 

Enchant the land with amethyst.

Slow, slow!

For the grapes’ sake, if they were all,

Whose leaves already are burnt with frost,

Whose clustered fruit must else be lost

For the grapes’ sake along the wall.

i stole this from my csa farm newsletter.  but it just felt fitting.  the temperature is dropping.  for grape's sake!  and just as an aside...when i went to lewis and clark college our floor was co-ed.  including the bathrooms and showers.  my dorm neighbor used to put up gary snyder poetry in the bathroom stall for us to read.  next to the sign that said, "flush only when necessary.  we are in a drought."  and next to the sign that said, "save the spotted owl."  just to put everything in context.  xoxo 

good times

my sweet friend from college is going away. she and her little boy "ev" (as sweet pea calls him) came to denver all the way from colorado springs for a sleep over. she's a lifer that's for sure. a true blue friend. they are moving to fuji yoshida, japan in just over a month. to say i'm sad would be an understatement. i can barely speak of it. this will be the last time i see her for awhile. but just when i'm wallowing in self pity...she says something like "minute steak" and where's the ketchup? and we are giggling so hard i can't even see. tears of joy start flowing and then i know no matter the distance we will always send each other into fits of laughter over nothing and everything all at the same time. she is one of my greatest gifts.

thankful for snow

we woke up to our first snow storm of the season. sweet pea was just bubbling with excitement. he wondered if he could skip school today to play in the snow. so like his daddy. beans looked out the window and said, "rain." i said, "snow." he said, "rain." and on and on....he's at that age. it's the most wonderful time of the year. enjoy.

random acts of thankfulness

it's just one of those random days....brad and the kids were thankful for this fun activity to try out at home - thanks to the crafty crow.

thank you tons to the chpd and fire for rescuing rita's horses today. there would be a lot of sad people around if something happened to kitty! http://www.cbs4denver.com/video/?id=49312@kcnc.dayport.com. after the debacle was over, rita's husband said colts are like teenage boys. they are always looking for ways to sneak out....let's hope their pen is up to the standards of fort knox tonight.

thankful for this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KApWOAefKCs.

thankful for the vintage books i got in the mail.

thankful i found this blog. it's given a much needed boost to my creativity. (you just wait jennie, for the paper crafts are coming....).

change of pace

we're in a lull of blog worthy child activity. sweet pea is in a very challenging period of life. god love him. beans bears the brunt of this challenging time with grace and smiles and the loyalty of a younger brother. they exude the beauty and frustrations of their ages. so, i'm taking a fork in the road to post about some other things that make me happy. i was reminded of this in an email today - the first time i saw dancing matt i thought he was amazing.please check out matt's website and his brand new 2008 video. it is so fun to watch him dance his way across the world. the happiness that people find when dancing and listening to music is obviously universal. you can see it in the faces of each person who participated. i suggest that everyone go out or go home and dance with your friends and families tonight. dance well, dance badly, do it for the excercise, do it for the laughs. don't be embarassed. it's a challenge. in our house we call it dance party usa (we call everything "something" party usa - i don't know why). sweet pea has his own playlist on the ipod. here's what he'll be dancing to tonight: the tiki room, upside down, life is a highway, show me what you got, jump around, stayin alive, free and easy, let's get it started. have a nice weekend!