broken

a little throw back thursday action for your, well...thursday.

i'm trying to make myself just sit here and write for five minutes.  it is the hardest thing i've done in so long.  well not really the hardest.  i have been in a bit of a quagmire for the last little bit.  i can't think of anything else to say about that right now except i think i accidentally broke my voice on purpose.  i told you it was missing.  that i longed for it back.  that it was lost somewhere.  that wasn't entirely truthful.  i just thought it was all the other things that were keeping my voice from surfacing.  now i know it was me.  only me.  just burying that creative part of me deep down.  protecting it from comment.  protecting my truth from judgement. perfecting the facade to keep the over praise or the discouragement at bay.  goodness, me, that is a painful existence.  in the end i am starting to see how greatly i need to write and tell my truth and share my heart.  so a new day.  i'm writing to write.  and, seriously.  if i post one more post called begin again just unsubscribe.