native

bloggy friends.  it was a tough weekend.  you all know about friday.  i was out of bed fifteen minutes when i got a text from one of my favorite texans checking on me.  and although we live on the other side of the city from aurora, it just struck me down hard.  and all of those feelings i had tucked away neatly after columbine.  that scab just ripped right off my heart.  and i am seriously grieving about it all over again.  and the new shooting.  honestly.  there are just no words.  but i will say that this amazing state of colorado is full of people who rally in the face of adversity.  i have lived here my entire life.  and it makes me so proud.  we are fierce about the love we have for this place.  and its people.  that has been demonstrated time and again this summer.

same day.  i'm standing at the door of a biker bar with my 20 year class reunion breathing down my neck.  despite the total emotional drain of the day, i think it was a success.  no one cried.  no one embarassed themselves.  we saw each other in a light that only 20 years distance and a bar with bras hanging from the ceiling can offer.  not bad.  and there was dancing.  the short kid said she could not remember a time when i danced with such wild abandon, free of care.  she was totally right.  totally.  dancing frees your heart for sure. 

reunion highlight for me?  that one guy knew who i was. he said he knew me even without his glasses {he has glasses?!?}.  the long haired, wild boy who sat behind me in 7th grade english class and said naughty things.  the boy who scared the daylights out of me because i was on the straight and narrow and he was, well, not.  that boy.  whose knowledge of my existence was pretty much non-existent.  he was the one i secretly rooted for my entire life.  from afar.  very far.  he had mad writing skills from day one.  he fascinated me.  and i was captivated by his stories.  and so were our teachers.  i might have been a titch jealous because i was not in his same league.  and as hard as he tried to distance himself from any type of authority, he could never hide his talent.  and i could never quite make mine visible.  i needed to know if he was still writing.  and he was happy i remembered that about him.  but he just wanted to talk about how he was on the straight and narrow.  ish.  and now i may never know if he is a writer or not.  but he did know me.  there's always that.