rebuilding

i wrote about moving on from my solo week.  but something else happened last week that is stuck deep in my heart.  it feels like a fist squeezing.  a giant ache in my chest. 

on friday i was driving to work when i received a message.  it's the one you don't expect and wish you didn't get.  "is leighann anywhere near where the earthquake hit?"  i didn't watch the news.  i had only just turned on the car radio.  and i was immediately shocked.  and alarmed.  and a little panicky.

all day i camped in front of facebook waiting for some kind of indication she was ok.  that her husband and babies were safe.  and my mind wandered and i worried about what she must be going through.  out of desperation i emailed her.  because i love her.  and that's all i could do.  just wait.

and i was so thankful to find out that she was well.  that they were safe.  but i replay her words about the car rolling and facing a swaying temple and her boy in a carseat.  and i was there with her, but here.  and feeling it in my heart for her.

i am learning.  i just got back from haiti.  i've been getting stories from our family friend in new zealand who just experienced a significant earthquake.  and now my sweet girl in japan.  and i just ache right along side without ever having had the experience.  that feeling of wanting so desperately to help but always being parallel to the issue.  so many people in the world left in the rubble of earthquakes.  and i know that they will eventually rebuild.  but i hear that murmur about sadness and fear and anticipation.  and i believe even moreso that the challenge is not rebuilding a city or a country.  it is helping people climb out from the despair of disaster.

so i pray for my friends.  i pray for their little ones.  and i pray for the people of japan.  and new zealand.  and haiti.  and i pray that somehow i will find a way to be the friend that she needs me to be.  because really that's all i can do.