we sit close on the couch, talking quietly so we won't disturb brother's new found love of reading. we have finished another chapter in this complicated benedict society series. he can't get enough of the books or the puzzles or the conversations and speculation we have over what comes next. as each chapter ends, we take a step towards our new beginning.
we look for parallels in the book. we compare and contrast. i am asking him to take an adventure. one that i never realized i missed. i am asking him to trust me when i say it won't always be this hard or scary, knowing that i never took the risk. i am asking him to step out of his safety zone, and away from the few people he finds comfort. all the while, tears rolling down my face knowing our days in familiar places are numbered. i know him better than myself it seems. between us there is calm and fear, excitement and dread. and then i realize those are just my feelings.
fear of failure, underachievment, blending in, learning what it means to be invisible. this is not what i want him to take away from his younger years. these are all things we have been dancing around for too long now. in our own lives and for him. so we cheer him on and we advocate for him and we do our best to find someone to listen to the songs his heart is singing. for someone to say the infamous words, what if? for someone to believe, like we do, that he is special. we encourage him to shine and reassure him that just around the corner there is someone he can talk to. always.
and we push him to go, go, go. be amazing, our little sweet pea.
Love......
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