nitty gritty

after months of preparation and saying we were going to put our house on the market, the sign is finally in the yard and it is real. each of our neighbors has stopped by to mount their protests, and to offer support. although we have never been attached to a house, we might have stayed longer if circumstances were different. and while our house is not important, that sign in the yard signifies the fact that we will be leaving a community and neighbors that we have become tremendously attached to. as the fog of this last year is beginning to lift, i am waking up to a life that has proceeded without my devotion and full participation. while i have been struggling to understand why things have to end. there have been endless beginnings i have been afraid to embrace. despite all the struggle...our family, and friends: old and new, have been incredibly supportive and picking up the slack as best they can. we have these angels who have been shouldering the load when things need to get done and there is either no more energy or no more time. all people who don't ask for anything in return; who are just making it happen. i hope i'm able to offer that amount of love and kindness going forward...that i start living life and stop resting on my laurels. oh! but i'm thankful for those laurels. every day i feel so blessed and thankful for the people who stick by us.